I just watched the 11,394th political commercial of the week. I am convinced that Jon Shadegg is a degenerate pervert who can’t be trusted to operate a 10-speed, with or without training wheels, let alone provide the voice of the Sonoran Desert as a US Representative.
Oh wait, the 11,395th commercial just aired. I stand corrected. Jon Shadegg is an American hero who takes on Washington insiders, fights for me, cuts taxes, supports our troops and is a proponent of children and sunlight. His pro-potable water platform appeals to me as well.
The 11,396th commercial doesn’t even reference a candidate. It’s for a proposition. I am told that I need to vote “yes” to uphold the sanctity of my marriage. “One man and one woman” the narrator tells me. I better not fall asleep at the wheel on that one come voting day. I certainly can’t have any marauding gay type folks storming my house and laying waste to the idyllic matrimonial existence harbored within these otherwise love-filled walls.
The 11,397th has me signing up to ride a float in a parade.
11,398 - Barack Obama stood in line behind a guy at Starbucks who once read “The Anarchist’s Cookbook.” Oh my God! He’s a terrorist! We’re going to elect a terrorist!
11,399 - John McCain is one "Boo!" from a stroke. He is going to die on his third day in the Oval Office, and we are going to be stuck with Mrs. Pool from “Valerie,” or “Valerie’s Family,” or “The Hogan Family,” or whatever the hell it was called. Sarah Palin will abolish science from high schools!
As yet another pixilated hatchet job projects itself into my unreceptive living room, it strikes me. How amazing that my dealings with fellow agents, and my representations to consumers regarding my fellow agents, come under the strict purview of a professional code of ethics, while there is essentially nothing binding our candidates to a similar standard. Sure, all government officials are required to sign one upon taking office, but what of the office seekers? Can it really be that Paul Nobody in Scottsdale, Arizona is bound by more stringent conduct requirements than those seeking the top position in the United States of America?
If I call Bert from Cactus Thorn Real Estate a lousy agent in the presence of a client, I might get hauled in front of the commissioner.
If one Senator calls another Senator a whoring crack fiend who is prone to narcolepsy and horrific flatulence, he might get to be President.
Super duper.
Can we vote already?
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Now don't sugarcoat it Paul... Tell us how you really feel.
Cameron
A great post. We'll all be completely sick of this in another week, if not already. I send out no marketing pieces around election time. Everyone is bombarded with junk mail, election mail and TV commercials up the cazoo... Any marketing pieces would go straight in to the trash. What a waste of money.
Please remember me if you learn of anyone moving to "The OC".
best regards.
Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CRB CRS GRI
2007 President, Orange County Association of Realtors
You're a genius.
I'm so glad it will soon be over. Then again, I'm afraid it will soon be over, and. . . . ., I don't even want to think about it.
The TV is totally polluted with the so called "debates". Does anyone really watch that dribble?
You would have to tie me in a chair and gag me, point a gun to my head and to force me to watch that garbage. So, I watch the reviews and they are totally obsessed with the cosmetics, because, of course, there was nothing of interest said in the "debates".
It would appear that we are about to elect the slickest, most corrupt anti-American politician since Spiro Agnew (the corrupt part)?
Or, are we about to elect a man who is a doddering "confused" old fool with one foot in the grave?
If Obama is elected, he won't stick around long. I'm sure he's looking at the Office of the President of the United States as a launch pad for "Chairman of the World".
If McCain is elected, he won't last more than 3 weeks before becoming more incoherent than George Bush.
So, it appears that we're left to make a decision based on the Vice President. Do we elect a Stepford Wife? Or, a serial plagiarizer who should be sentanced to wearing a truth o meter?
You're right. The political parties need a Code of Ethics. We could teach them a thing or two.
I usually don't comment on political posts but this one is soooo right. Every politician and political party should take note. Please let us know what you stand for and leave the "smearing" for peanut butter!!!
Paul, it may just be time to turn off the t.v., burn the newspaper, and crawl into that bomb shelter you so craftily built in your backyard. Just make sure you've got at least 4 years worth of food and supplies.
Paul - I'm planning to write in "none of the above".
Paul, this was so funny I laughed out loud. You are so funny because you always nail it! But this one is the best. I started to agree with Lenn but then, a few lines down I didn't and then a another few lines down I did, am I a flip flopper? I do agree that when my husband asked me if I was going to watch the debate I told him only if you put a gun to my head! How many nights can I waste watching two people who I really do believe are decent human beings snipe at each other, smile meanly and back pedal. As far as the VP's, give me Biden, hair plugs and all, over Miss Teen USA for the town of Stepford. Although "Mrs. Pallin" may have her heart in the right place, her mouth is an entirely different matter. Not to be unkind, and she may be very bright, but a few public speaking classes would not have gone amiss. That's my slanted view!
I don't know what was funnier. Your post or the comments. I'll go with your post since you're the host :-)
AMEN! I say AMEN! I am completely "wo" out with it all and cannot wait to VOTE and I plan to vote early! It's moved into that part of the campaign where the bullshit gets so deep, it takes wings to stay above it! As we sometimes say in Texas...
A great post. TV time is a complete waste of time. There should be a ban of shameless political commercials. By the way, I have been out of TV subscription for over 6 years. I do have a LCD big screen TV though, for Blockbuster.
Paul - this is hilarious. I am so tired of the media telling us how to think . . . I cannot wait (I think) for this to be over. There is so many political advertisements right now, and of course it is all trying to influence how we think ( because apparently we cannot think for ourselves).
Paul - I loved this one. You hit the nail on the head. I have to be careful not to allude to someone else's incompetence, but they are allowed to spread whatever lies seem most palatable/believable on TV? I guess I don't see many political ads here, partially because I have Tivo, and partially because our state is already pretty much sealed up for one of the candidates. I am thankful that I don't have to watch this nonsense.
As always, hilarious! Your point about the code of ethics is right on, why don't we insist on having one??? Yup, lets vote already. In my state, voter registration ended yesterday. Come on, we all know who we're voting for. The darn undecided should be forced off their fence so the rest of us aren't tortured further.
I once owned the 'anarchist cookbook'... Darn it...:-) Thank god i have no political aspirations, whatsoever.
Brilliant, my friend.
Enough already! I seriously have had enough of all the politics (not your posts). I agree, let's get it over with already, let's VOTE! The day cannot come fast enough so we can get on with our lives with whomever will be driving this station wagon. Hasta la vista....let's get on w/the show! KM
Paul this was hilarious.
It's pretty sad when you are voting for someone because you like the other person less. "On a scale of 1-10, I like this candidate as a 1 and this one as a 2." Hmmm...
Cameron - I'm sorry for taking a tepid position. The nail that sticks out gets hammered in, you know?
Michael - Much like burning the same mailings during the holidays to get lost amidst the cards and solicitations. I'm not a big direct mailer anyway, but your logic is sound.
Lenn - My only question would be who we could appoint to be the arbiter of ethical complaints. I'm thinking Chuck Norris.
Paddy - Candidates keep going back to the blackhat campaigning because the polls show it to be effective. What a sad commentary on us as a people. Because they can obviously not be trusted to keep things on the up and up through the force of their own moral fortitude, I really think there shoud be some form of accountability. Even if it were unenforceable, could you imagine the two candidates holding a signing ceremony at the outset for a mutually agreed upon code of ethical conduct during the course of the upcoming campaign? No arbiter would really even be necessary as the public would be well informed as to the guiding principles and who violated them.
Brian - That's not a bomb shelter. It's a Mother-In-Law storage facility (just kidding, Diane;)
Sandra - That's no fun. If you are that disgusted by all involved, you can at least write me in.
Susan - I have a feeling that you and I will be voting the same way.
Kris - The election is the funniest thing of all. I keep waiting for one camp to promise an extra recess and pizza Wednesdays.
Russell - I don't know if anyone has a wingspan large enough to soar above this muck. We'd be better equipped with jetpacks, but I guess that just increases our reliance on Middle Eastern oil. Looks lke we're all gonna get dirty.
Huiting - I have the reverse setup. My kid broke the DVD player by shoving Chuck E Cheese coins into the slot, so all I get now is channel after channel of talking heads and infosmearcials. Can I come over to your house?
Sharon - Brought to you by the same folks who go door to door selling religion and salad shooters. "You know, now that you put it that way, I guess I am ready to find Jesus while dicing onions into impossibly small edible fragments!"
Jason - The TIVO existence is a sublime one. When reformulating the family budget to deal with the current economy, though, it became an unfortunate example of the household sacrifice that neither candidate could specifically espouse. I cut out the movier tier and the TIVO, so I am stuck watching all of these attack jobs at every commercial break. It's a good thing that making fun of such crap is one of my favorite pastimes lest I would have set fire to both folicles of chest hair in protest. There is no accountability for this stuff because the election cycle is relatively short lived (though it doesn't feel so). By the time the electorate wises up to the manipulations, distortions and outright lies, we are already onto the next set of besmirchments. We'll pick a guy before we are able to completely sort out what is fallacy and what, if anything, is verifiable.
Beth - Anyone who is truly undecided at this point should forfeit their vote. There is nothing new to learn. The details on their policies won't become any less murky, so flip a coin and call it a half-decade.
Inna - You dangerous girl, you! You are not alone in being one who's political career has been derailed before it even began. Were political office to be a future aspiration of mine, my blog would undo me long before they got to the really good stuff.
Kristin - I am passionate about my beliefs, but I am losing passion for this election. Let's get it over with already and start cleaning up the mess.
Melina - It's not quite that bad for me. I actually like one of the candidates, but that is a not uncommon rating scale for politicians. I often wonder if that is due to our imperfect selections, or our desire to boil our leaders down to the most baisc level. Perhaps we know so much that we lose perspective of them as fallible? In our hunger for more information, we might just hold them to impossible standards. I know I wouldn't hold up nearly as well to impartial dissection. Of course, I am not seeking to become the leader of the free world ...
My mind is too small for such big thoughts.
Paul- I have said many times lately that it is pretty sad who we have for choices. But let's do it already and move on! About the mud slinging....I really try to ignore it. You know the Travel Channel hasn't had any political commericals that I can remember. I watch Samantha Brown or Andrew Zimern, and Anthony Bourdain. I have been trying to figure out which country I want to take up residency if it gets really bad! LOL
Paul - You have convinced me, I'll be writing your name in.
Hahahaha....yeah, you better shut that TV off!
God I'm so ready for this damn election cycle to be over. These jackasses have been polluting the airwaves with BS for what seems like a freaking eternity. Just shut the hell up already. Personally I say we should deport the whole lot.
Lori - The Travel Channel is usually a good option, but with the costs involved anymore, I find it to be an oppressive exercise is self flagellation. I watch "Clifford, The Big Red Dog."
Sandra - Now that's the spirit! Together we can take this country back. Back to the Stone Age, that is.
Tchaka - I'm just waiting for that Poltergeist moment when one of them steps right out of my television and abducts one of my children. I would be only moderately surprised.
Jesse - I plan on voting for Yakov Smirnov. We need a Russian to deal with the Russians. Dolph Lungren can be Secretary of Horrible Cinema.
Paul, honey, we don't need Smirnoff, unless you mean the vodka. We have Pallin, she is the expert on foreign policy with the Russians, isn't she??
Paul ~ In our little neck of the woods we have ballots going out soon, so the campaigns have ratcheted up the campaign smears. Having been a political adviser and campaign manager, about 35% of our population votes within the first three days. So, they have to ramp up and then hold steady through the election. So...you should be pitying us Oregonians! :-)
Paul,
Getting back to the title of your post, an "electorial code of ethics", arn't we all a bit guilty. We elect people at all levels (but particularly the federal level) who refuse to update and enforce their ethics code. Why? Could it be they are all a bit guilty of spewing venom and demogagery through their campaign organizations? We have to get back to insisting on term limits, legislative ethics, even allowing for third parties. We get the government we deserve (and re-elect).
Take a deep breath and count to 5. Turn off your TV.
Jim,
Don't forget to turn off Limbaugh and Hannity as well. Vote early; either man will make a good president for all of us.
Forget the insert, but I saw this bumper sticker today and got a chuckle from it: "What is the difference between Palin and Cheney ... lipstick!"
Turn off Limbaugh? That bag of hot air turned me off years ago!!
Sarah - Certainly Oregon can't be a battleground state? I'm actually surprised that you are being bombarded with commercials, unless they are the local political variety. If McCain has given up on Michigan, I've got to imagine that he wrote off the Pacific Northwest long ago.
Bill - Why stop at three parties? I say we either have so many they none hold sway, or we get rid of the nonsensical allegiances of varied, and often competing, interests altogether. I'm tired of candidates having to accept ideals that they truly do not believe in as a concession to their political affiliation as a "D" or an "R."
Jim - I tried that already, but I always get stumped at 4.
Bill - You wouldn't catch me listening to either of those two windbags. Anybody whose answer to competing views always mentions either "freedom" or "move to Canada," is a zealot who cannot tolerate an opinion other than the one fed to him. Same goes for the far left. Zealotry is not an attractive quality when it comes to nation-building.
Susan - That man is poison.
My name is Gooby Flowers. I'm a whoring crack fiend ... and I approve this message.
Paul, Susan, Gooby and Jim,
We are, obviously, the choir. Getting our friends and family to expand their thinking beyond Democrat and Republican is the challenge of our time. But, we need to be persistent and consistent. Stay on message.
I have about had it! This had been dragging out FOREVER! I am so sick and tired of it all that I feel like my head is going to explode!
I have a question for Gooby Flowers. Gooby, do you by any chance have gorgeous red hair and a big wide smile?
Bill, since I can't carry a tune in a shopping bag, I am very happy to be in this choir. it's the only one that will have me!
It is pure chaos right now. I think you need to do research and ignore the slanted tv ads. That is what TIVO is all about.
Randall - I have done far more research than I would ever recommend. My choice has been made for months, which is why the flailing is all the more annoying. At this late stage, I can't imagine an undecided voter throwing support to one ticket over the other because of character assassination. These guys have been vetted for well over a year.
Mr. Flowers - It is a minor miracle that you still have a computer. How did that escape pawn when you've already melted down your gold-like Casio and traded in your kid's thermal underwear to feed your deplorable appetites?
Bill - I agree. We need to stay on message to stay off message ;)
Boy you said it! my associate , Russell Lewis told me about you and he was right! Thanks for the enlightening and somewhat funny look at this mess!
Janna - It's like the political version of "Scanners."
Susan - Ours will be a motley crew, indeed.
Allysoun - Russell is my man. By the transitive property that means that you and I are friends now. Cool :)
Slaybaugh - Well, it is certainly nice to see working crack whores that 'get involved'. I'm not sure I'm willing to put a 'I'll vote for Gooby' bumper sticker on my beater just yet though. Is 'Gooby' a he:-) Seriously, I'm very glad you brought up 'The Anarchists Cookbook' but you did fail to mention, 'Behold a Pale Horse'. Shoot, the latter was written by a guy named William Cooper, I believe. Besides talking about aliens and all the technology we have that we don't know we have, it mentions the real perpetrator who killed JFK... the driver of the very vehicle he was riding in. Power and Money are laughable traits at this point... as I grow older I grow more convinced. Who the hell do we think we are?
As far as a code of ethics, that's laughable as well. I wholeheartedly want a third party in place, that which combines common sense with public welfare. Money & Power have ruled way too long and I'm not saying that because I don't have access to such; I'm saying that because this isn't the best we can do. In the end, that doesn't much matter.
Whether I like you or not, you are one of my favorite (top 5) reads Mr. Slaybaugh. Keep on churning them out. I just hope the right people are reading... it's all about volume.
Paul,
Andrew Bacevich is an American hero and his clear thinking and keen perception is an illumination to those of us who have not mastered the art of critical thinking. It is well worth the watch.
http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/09262008/watch.html
Sardi - You know you like me. Even those who hate me like me.
Besides, we're past all that, aren't we?
All what;-)?
I was going to run on a "Hope" and "Change" platform but my printer suffers from mild dyslexia. Now my signs are all over town trumpeting "Cope" and "Hhange."
Least I got the Scrabble vote tied up.
P.S. Susan, I am bald.
Sardi - You know all too well what I'm talking about. The Great Parcheesi Incident of 2007, of course.
Gooby - That is a blunder that may actually work in your favor in this election cycle. I'd vote for a "Cope & Hhange" ticket. Need any help with your ads?
It is kind of ridiculous to see them telling us their opponents history when we want to know about what they're going to do to turn around the economy and other more important issues. Luckly it will all be over in about 3 weeks or so.
Victor (I just learned your name) - We have looked at these candidates for many a month now to try to get at their character. I think you are correct. At this late stage, it is not really relevant to start in with the jabs about "who this person really is." I don't want to know about the tenuous ties to a former radical who served on the same charity boards (do you actually pick your fellow board members?), nor do I want to hear anything about the Savings and Loan collapse and one candidate's role in that (though that at least is germain to current economic concerns). I think we all have a pretty good handle on knowing (or at least knowing what we want to) about the candidate's past. Had there been anything truly damning, they would have scrubbed out of the vetting process months ago. It's time to put all of that extraneous chatter aside and focus on where we are going as a country, and who seems better suited to the challenges. Track records are great, but I want to see a maleable leader who can adapt to changing times. Discussing previous votes on specific ballot measures to portray either candidate as some generalized "pro-tax increase" or "anti-middle class" is not where this voter's mind is at right now. Show me what you've got for the next four years.
This has to be the LONGEST campaign history. Just terrible, and I LIKE this stuff.
what... no comment on 105? The proposition that says if you don't go out to vote we're going to count you one way or the other anyway? So for those CHOOSING to abstain, yup, you get screwed too! What are we coming to?
Andy - The calendar says it has been of the same durations as all previous campaigns. The calendar lies.
Jessica - I wonder how my vote will be counted if I don't vote for the proposition telling me how my no-vote will be counted? 105 is a lovely one, is it not? I actually want this to pass so that I'll be one step closer to passing legislation which calls for non-votes of registered voters in presidential elections to automatically go to Boner Gumby. Ask Jim ;)
My TV keeps repeating itself anyway, why not kill it? Thanks for poker and tivo!!!
Hi Paul...Thank you for making me realize that there are now 3.62 trillion things I never thought of myself.
Perhaps only REALTORS should be allowed to run for public office and then only those that have not broken the Code of Ethics and by that even those that have broken the Code just not been caught are excluded. Of course, that might leave no one left.
Boy, what a puritan I'm becoming. Seriously, wouldn't it be great if some buzzer would go off every time any of the politicians lied or better yet an automatic bleeping of their spin and lies. Ah, what silence.
It is interesting to see one of the comments above about the need for politicians to have a Code of Ethics while at the same time calling one of the candidates a corrupt anti-American politician. Struck me as ironic.
Kate
I wish the reporting of poll results was prohibited on TV and the press.
Hey just what do you have against whoring crack fiends anyway? It worked for Marion Barry!