I am a pretty pony.
I am a rainbow.
I am a simpleton of staggering proportions.
If I read one more “inspirational” blog post that reads like a poster in a guidance counselor’s office, I am going to bash my brains in with a pink hammer of positivity.
We are currently mired in perhaps the greatest financial crisis of our time. This is not merely a Real Estate woe, but an economical precipice upon which our great nation teeters. We are essentially selling our debt to pay today’s bills. To make matters worse, we are beholden to nations who would not exactly make it into our Fave Five. What is the single greatest contributing factor to our current misfortune? Delusion.
Life is a bowl of cherries!
In a world of magnets, be the iron of good fortune!
I am all for finding solutions to bleak situations. For rising above difficult circumstances to not only survive, but to thrive. To use every challenge as an opportunity for growth. However, that requires acknowledgement of the difficulties that surround us. Simply pulling our horns in and expecting to produce shiny new results through failed methods of the past because of the belief that a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed demeanor is all that is ever required of us borders on lunacy.
I am a magic carpet flying through stormy skies!
When everyone else goes for their razor, be the shaving cream!
We well get through this turmoil. We will. We will be stronger for it, and we will have a newfound respect for the volatility of the free market. For awhile. Who knows how many of us will live to see the next great meltdown, but the same faulty assumptions will eventually be made. The same hubris will prompt us to buy into the same myths. And in those dark times, there will be the same band playing the same tired tune as the Titanic sinks yet again. You’d think the quartet would stop getting on the same ill-fated boat, but they won’t. Why? Because they never acknowledge that the ship sank the first time. Just kept on playing the same damn song. Nothing to see here people, it’s all in your minds!
When all the other squirrels are hiding in their trees, you find the best nuts!
When your mutual fund gets blasted into orbit, do the moonwalk!
There is power in positivity when it is tempered with realism. You must understand the nature of your foe if you wish to defeat it. Something tells me that Sun Tzu was not too concerned with discovering “The Secret.” He was doing recon in preparation of cutting off the heads of his enemies while they were sitting around the campfire singing Kumbaya.
This market is tough. It’s downright brutal, in fact. Yet there is opportunity for those who know where to find it. You only find those opportunities by probing for weakness, rather than spooning another heaping serving of delusion into that gaping pie hole.
I'm a mythical unicorn dancing in a coconut cream sky!
Looking for the glazed-over craziness in the moo cow eyes of a true believer to help you navigate these treacherous times? I’m not your guy. You are looking for an agent who only looks through his "happy" eye. Sounds great in theory, but costs you depth perception. Why do you think your cycloptic friend keeps walking into the same wall?
Looking for someone to chum these rough seas for the biggest freaking fish in the water? Give me a call.
The market sucks. Let's make that work for you.
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STOP!!!!!!!!!!! I am laughing so hard I just blew a cheese sandwich through my nose! OUCH!
You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile.
Tyler Durden
Welcome back to the real world.
No rosy pictures from me. My buyers will get the facts from me. If a consumer can't or won't understand "hard core real estate talk", then they need another agent.
Only with the facts can the consumer make decisions that will last for many years.
Nice to have you back, Paul :) oops, I mean :/
"...be the shaving cream" LOL!!!!!
This is one awesome reality check. Tough market, tough talk and straight talk. Perfect.
Looks like someone needs a hug.
Actually, this is a great first post following your "hiatus". I flagged it for feature (or for "Slaybaugh is bringing the iron fist of reality smashing into your unicorn's face").
I love it! You are is real as they come. Glad the novel is done:)
I'm Sardi's tower of watered down positivity.
Have an outrageously pleasant and comfortable weekend, Slaybaugh. The fruit basket and 'cyber hug' are in the warm and caring hands of our postal carriers as I type.
Paul
I will be glad to help you with that "hammer" if you like. ;-)
Actually I know what you mean. This has become serious business. Went through similar crisis in mid-late 80's. I am still here and ready to work for those that need or want me.
"I am a pretty pony" I'm dying here Paul! Yes, the reality checks are crucial! (so is spellcheck)
LMAO - Paul, man did it again. Motivation is great, inspiration is peachy, but for the love of God, some people need to stop breathing in the fumes from the sunshine spreader for a while.
Russell - One of the great fictional characters of all time. Highly apropos reference.
Lenn - Good to be back from the land of milk and honey. You've got the right idea. This is no time to mislead ourselves and our clients with parlor tricks. Face the music, than dance accordingly.
Elaine - Just don't call this blog "The Straight Talk Express" ;)
Jason - I always need a hug. Now wrap those ooey gooey rays of sunshine around this healthy dose of reality.
Bill - You and I both. That little side project was a voracious eater of time and energy. Tons of fun, but time to put it away for a while.
Sardi - You're a peach. Anytime I need a good dose of pep, I know where to find ya. Why do I expect the "Happy Basket" to get lost in the mail?
Trey - It was only a matter of time before someone went for the hammer. I think you'll find no shortage of accomplices to help you swing it.
Mandy - I actually am a pretty pony, so that reference was superfluous ;)
Jesse - Fumes of the sunshine spreader ... I love that!
Melina - Nice. I notice that the graphic fails to illustrate the River Styx into which our friend with the closed eyes is sliding.
You're no pony, but you can borrow my stapler anytime.
Shun the non Believer, Charlie. Sssshun ... a
Take me to the happy place oh magical unicorn where all my dreams can come true!
"Simply pulling our horns in and expecting to produce shiny new results through failed methods of the past because of the belief that a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed demeanor is all that is ever required of us borders on lunacy."
You have such a way with words:) I am still reading your novelette, where did this come from?
Reality sucks, Paul, don't ever forget that. Nice to see someone actually mention it though:)
Amanda - I am a pony. I am! I am! I am! You're just being negative. I only associate with others who acknowledge my ponyness, so please refrain from dispelling my fantasies with cold, hard, scientific fact.
Eileen - Your name sounds familiar. Hope you didn't pull anything.
Lori - Everyone wants to be the unicorn, but no one wants to use him for a chair. People would do well to understand that there will be winners and there will be losers in this environment. Those who close their eyes will be the ones with the horn in the backside.
Karen - This post signifies my return to Real Estate blogging. I wrapped up my little novelette yesterday, so my monthlong hiatus from business topics is done. It was great to step back to recharge, but I'm ready to put it back in gear. Thanks for reading the other, by the way. That was a labor of love.
Paul - great to see your wit and humor back ! Makes me think of that old tv show....Dragnet?? "Just the facts ma'am" I have the Friday night brain drain....sorry Russell blew cheese samich all over your blog. And I laughed even harder at Jason's first comment about you "needing a hug".
Russell missed a spot. Maybe Eileen can reach it.
Paul, you just gotta let the smiley people of the world enjoy the ride into darkness.
This was a great post by the way, and my sentiments on the market exactly. Maybe I'll plagiarize use it for inspiration for a post...
You could always post it to Localism under McCormick Ranch Neighborhood. Maybe that will shake up the sponsor a bit and they will de-sponsor...
Damn you're good. You are a pretty pony.
Paul, I find some the "positive" suggestions/posts positively inane.
Not to be negative, but as things come crashing down, a good grip on WHAT IS will benefit each participant in a transaction far more than "don't worry- be happy."
Positive, in my estimation, is a good grip on how to navigate a market in which buyers probably shouldn't buy, and sellers couldn't have picked a more difficult time. Sort of takes the old enthusiasm out of the equation, but no one ever said that real estate would remain a job in which our input should be based on flowery descriptions, or encouragement on a purchase that now requires acknowledgement from the buyer that if they buy now, their investment thoughts are misplaced and irrelevant. For the short term.
I'm just glad, in the current climate, that the "all real estate is local" mantra has bitten the dust- national problems are our buyer/seller problems, and while it might not be as much "fun" to work through the processes, work through it we will- for those buyers that choose to buy, and sellers that have to sell, they'll have an up front representative that has left the half glass full mentality to the reality that the glass is neither half full or half empty- it just has water in it.
Edit: make that beer.
I think Paul consumed a little too much Reading Rainbow during his break...
"Oh, let's all live in a gumdrop house down on Lollipop Lane!
In case you couldn't tell, Marge, I was being sarcastic."
- Homer Simpson
This is really a funny post and i am not sure I can keep up but it looks like one of my associates "Russell" has been here and seems to be in likeminded company!
And...it looks like fun!
Okay Little Miss Susie Sunshine, no more caffeine for you.
UH-OH...I seemed to have, well... it was not the whole sandwich, I was just having a bite when the post caught me completely off guard and well..you know, you start laughing and, and oh, what the heck! Send me the cleaning bill and I will make this guy ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
pay... I just keep enjoying the fact that I meet more and more people here who are helping me stretch the envelope for what we can say (out loud). Thanks!
Well welcome back Mr. Rogers! You are like a breath of fresh air, although I'll admit I like to think that imagining making loads of money again will bring it to me. I am actually torn on a daily basis between drowning in despair and being hopped up on imaginary hopefulness. I think they may call my condition bi-polar disorder! The exhaust fumes from the sunshine spreader really give me a nice mellow feeling too. xxoo Welcome back for real.
And I am always the Glass is Half Full.... :-) I learned early on from my father never to give up and Boy, did he accomplish much!
Sylvia - I think most every entrepreneur is that way. We eschew the 9 to 5 security of a corporate job to make our own success. That requires an optimistic spirit. However, that is not to be confused with the denial that many in our ranks cling to in self defense. We do our clients no service by stubbornly refusing to acknowledge difficulties in the marketplace. They depend on us for clear objective analysis in formulating the far reaching plans and strategies involved in a Real Estate transaction. It's great to see the glass as half full. Even better to see of what it is half full.
Forget the glass, we need another bottle.
Russell - What envelope? Seriously, I just say what I say and let others sort it out. I'll never hear from the ones who are turned off by my irreverence, and that's okay. We wouldn't be a good fit anyway. I aim to work with those who don't mind a little stark truth, and maybe a grain of humor, to go with the prerequisite of competence. I just never saw the point in faking it. Why attract the wrong people? Popeye said it best, "I yam what I yam. Now stick that in your pipe and smoke it!"
I just love how you put things in perspective. Bittersweet chocolate is my fave.
Paul,
We do have to keep moving and work our way thru this market and we will be stronger on the other side. I like the way you put things into the proper perspective. Just in case you might need this in the future, iwent out and bought you a gift.....I just can't give it to you right now tho. OK, now I can give it to you, I hope tht you enjoy it when needed.
LMAO! How am I supposed to put a positive spin on things when you're over there with your pretty pony get up on? Welcome back.
OMG Paul, I wish I had written this. It's one thing to be positive, it's another thing to be blind. Many are hanging on by their fingernails and it isn't over until it's over (and it's not over yet).
So that's where my pink hammer went...
I like the brutal honesty of a realist. Its much more productive than listening to inspirational quotes from glassy eyed fools.